The Official AoC Unit(c) Discussion thread.

In the light of bettering the community and furthering the general greatness that is my as yet unwritten (but sure to be Pulitzer prize winning) legacy I have decided to more better codify the AoC unit (c). In the interest of clarity i will lay out what it is, how to properly utilize it and it's negative corollary the ZaB unit (c). Once we are finished here you will be knowledgeable enough to go forth at rate things on the Unified Scale of Awesomeness using the measurements herein contained.

First about me :

If you don't know how awesome it is to know me it is my sacred duty nay obligation to remedy that so that your day will be brighter and your life better just for basking in the glory that is me. Also my ideas are great and I'm good for a laugh, It's all in my book Awesomeness: The Epic True Story of Awesomeability and You - The Agent of Change Saga.

Now as that blurb might imply i'm great, but I would like you to know I am (there's no need to imply), and that my good forumites is the basis of the Aoc Unit (c).

1 Agent of Change Unit (AoC unit (c)) = The inherent awesomeness contained by one Agent of Change at any given time. Now it is a fairly subjective measure and theoretically given to fluctuation (upwards of course) but in general this will be stable enough to prove an effective measurement. Now to measure with an AoC unit (c) you simply need to compare the awesomeness of object to be measured against the Baseline Awesoemness of Me (Agent of Change *bows humbly in an arrogant manner*).

Some examples:

A Tsunami (awe inspiring is it not) would rate At least 3-4 AoC Units (c)

A Person of equivalent inherent awesomeness would be 1 AoC (c), where as an Epicly great person (Achilles for example) might rate 2 AoC units (c).

A pie depending on your hunger and the quality of said pie would likely lrate anywhere from .2 - 1.3 AoC units (c)

Now as I said there is an inherent subjectiveness to using the AoC Unit (c) and in order to properly standardize it's usage I highly encourage you to not trust your own judgement, but instead you should use mine in appropriately gauging my awesomeness. It should be clear at this point that this is a benevolent move on may part, your welcome.

Now I spoke of a negative corollary, this is important because the AoC Unit (c) is too Awesome to ever be used in a negative way. Which is why we (and by we i mean me and Mc.Muffin [credit where credit is due]) have developed the ZaB Unit (c). Some background:

No shite No shite. There I was. There I was: So I, myself, was flying incognito so as to generously shield the other pilots from the nuke like flare of my amazingment. Any way Cpl. Mc.muffin (the tastiest pilot) was there with me on my team. And who should appear in the lobby but Zhoul (Boo hisss) detested detestee of all who detest things that should be detested (hey he's a dick I make no apologies), and he's on the other team in a CA. Making it my new job in life to ruin his day I hover over my carrier and swat him 3-4 times in a row (without taking a hit)... following the last explosion the villain quits the match. Cries I "What a Bitch!", questions tasty muffin man "who?", clarifies i "Why Zhoul of course". 3 minutes later Zhoul appears back in game and so I resume my position above the carrier and events conspire similarly again 3-4 sequential swats and a rage quit. "Twice, two rage quits, Zhoul remains a bitch!" says I, the good corporal asks "again?" says I to the young breakfast sandwich "yes". A number of minutes later A wild Zhoul appears! I resume my Zhoul swatting post in he comes guns blazing, i jink and smoke him with righteous missiles and guns....and before the smoke is even clear "Zhoul has left the game" appears before my eyes for a third time in a single game. "Three times... Zhouls a Bitch!" exclaims our hero. The cheeseless bacon vehicle asks "so is that like the opposite of an AoC unit?", struck by the genius of the militant snack food I confirm... "Yes...yes it is."

This actually happened but the dialogue may have been modified due to an imperfect memory... or because it's more awesome... you know what you can't judge me shut up and read my thing.

And so the birth of the ZaB unit (c):

1 Zhoul's a Bitch Unit (ZaB Unit (c)) = the amount of suck encompassed by one foul mouthed, epithet spewing, rude, rage quitting, world class dick named Zhoul. Now the rules for measuring a ZaB Unit (c) are the same as that for an AoC unit (c) however for anything that is not in the scale of awesome.

Some Examples:

The aftermath of a 3-4 AoC Unit (c) Tsunami = 7+ ZaB Units (c)

Stepping in dog crap in new shoes = .5 ZaB Unit (c)

Now there has been some discussion as to the flexibility in apply these units as to the potential flexibility in the awesomeness/suck of an object/event to be measured. Worry not fair citizens i have thought of that (and you were worried) and have appointed Varia to lead a committee into the investigation of the Awesomeness fluctuation of general objects and occurances in order to form a better understanding and standard for measuring awesomeness. We are awaiting official results.

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I this space we will expand for further abstract measurement units to be codified as needed:

Can-Swiss wrote:What? no mention of the CER factor?

Thats CanSwiss Eats Rocks factor. Nevermind.... its ALWAYS a negative for me and my team.

1 CanSwiss Eats Rocks Unit (CER Unit) = The amount of amusement contained in watching one Can-Swiss repeatedly perform maneuvers with asteroids that are counter-indicated by a ships warranty and common sense, generally resulting in an embarrassed cloud of rapidly expanding ship parts and vapor.

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Please discuss and put your newly granted knowledge to use.

Disclaimer: the above Post was made by an ass for pure humorous and ball busting purposes. These comments (including this disclaimer) do not represent the thoughts, feelings, or opinions of the poster except where they do... And they might but only if it's funnier if they don't... are you still reading this, I bet you are the kind of person that brings a magnifying glass to read contracts, by reading the previous sentence you now owe me a cookie, so there. That'll teach you to read the fine print.

God i hope i am never compared on a ZAB scale of units ....

Farce wrote:God i hope i am never compared on a ZAB scale of units ....

To be fair the average human being probably rates around .2 of an AoC Unit (c) (remember this is about general awesomeness and the wonderment that follows in your path simply because you deign to exist, not strictly speaking being good at stuff) Now I would put most forumites here at probably around .5 and .8 of an AoC Unit (c) (largely due to the type of person who would be apart of this and lets face it bleed off of my magnificence.)

I'm gonna put you at around (my personal estimate) .6 of an AoC Unit (c) as clearly you of of the right type and you recognize my awesomeness which in turn makes you awesome (this is a rough estimate as I have very little evidence mind you). Having been ranked on the AoC unit (c) scale you now should have no worries about sliding into ZaB Units (c).

Go in peace to wage war and be awesome!

I'd have thought farce's avatar alone would push the ranking to 0.8 at least, maybe even higher. Just an observation

longshot wrote:I'd have thought farce's avatar alone would push the ranking to 0.8 at least, maybe even higher. Just an observation

A Solid point. good taste nicely modified gundam avatar is worth at least a full point..... .78

Now there has been some discussion as to the flexibility in apply these units as to the potential flexibility in the awesomeness/suck of an object/event to be measured. Worry not fair citizens i have thought of that (and you were worried) and have appointed Varia to lead a committee into the investigation of the Awesomeness fluctuation of general objects and occurances in order to form a better understanding and standard for measuring awesomeness.

Regarding Varia, I have yet to accept this assignment. Before accepting, I would need to negotiate a health and benefits package for my committee and I.

Of course, what we're all saying right now (except for me), is that the results that my team and I uncover would- clearly- be for the good of the general public. How, after all, can we really know how many AoC units to assign to an instance of awesomeness in any given situation without a further, in depth, examination of the matter? Additionally, how will we ever know how many AoC units would fill a 10 liter bucket without this very important research? This woman is clearly a sophist and dilettante.

However! I argue that the information uncovered, being specifically about AoC units, would be worth a- possibly- immeasurable number of AoC units. I can make this vague and shaky sounding assurance because we would be assigning AoC Units to research directly regarding AoC units and the quantification of individual AoC units during an instance of Awesomeness worthy of AoC unit accumulation. Considering the constant growth potential of the AoC unit, any sensible person would recognize the enormity of the issue at hand.

As a result of this, my team would require a full health benefits package with additional coverage for mental health. We would also require a full budget with an additional allowance for liquor expenditures. The latter really isn't necessary, however, I believe that it would be worth at least .2 AoC units in and of itself.

We would also need a budget to form a sub-committee to study the ZaB unit. I propose that this study would not only include the exponential rate of decrease which is represented by the ZaB unit, but also how these conflicting units act upon one another in a given situation

Example: Varia manages to catch and shoot down Nyxy, but in the meantime AoC has hit the carrier with three to five torpedos.

The warm fuzzy feeling of shooting down Nyxy after chasing him for like three minutes is worth a, currently, un-measurable number of AoC units on a personal level. However, allowing AoC to torpedo the carrier when you're supposed to be defending it is worth a, again, currently unmeasurable number of ZaB units. Additionally, in this example AoC is directly involved in subjectively generating ZaB units- what, if any, are the implications of this?

We the committee believe that these are important issues which need to be resolved for the good of the community in general and present that denying us a total benefits package would generate ZaB units. Is that something which can really be afforded considering the importance of the matter at hand? I think not.

is it sad that this is starting to make sense.... i couldnt help but think in AoC and ZaB units while flying last night

What? no mention of the CER factor?

Thats CanSwiss Eats Rocks factor. Nevermind.... its ALWAYS a negative for me and my team.

Not always, it has a high amusement value as well to both teams. Bringing that refreshing wave of laughter to a grim battlefield is a precious gift, not to be undervalued.

I should know, I have quite a high CER ranking.

Farce wrote:is it sad that this is starting to make sense.... i couldnt help but think in AoC and ZaB units while flying last night

Haha It's sticking... because it's Awesome!

also:

We are Codifying codifying CER Units as a measurement of inherent hilarity as guaged by the amusement factor of watching Can-Swiss Smash into yet another Asteroid.

YAY! Positive Value! Its doing better than the US $$ at the moment, get it while its hot!

Varia,

We have received your proposal and are currently considering your terms. We are prepared to make following offer to you and your potential team.

Proposed Funding and benefits package for the Committee For the Investigation of Potential Awesomeness Fluctuation is as follows:

Health benefits: We will graciously allow you to keep every second of good health you have in between/prior to being temporarily reduced to radioactive vapor. Some cookies i have in the back seat of my fighter, and most importantly my attention which as we have established is soul nourishing awesomeness.

Mental health benefits: The supportive and healing power of laughter and a thorough mocking of your enemies by agents to be appointed upon identification of such scoundrels.

Funding: AHAHAHahHAhAhahahAHaHahhAHAHA... ahem... did i mention the girl scout cookies already? (they are made from real girl scouts... lots of protein)

Secondary benefits package for the Sub-Commitee into Douchebaggery and It's Proper Measurement

Benefits: A sharp pointy stick to keep the 'test' subjects in line that you can keep at the conclusion of testing. Assurances (sincere I assure you) that we appreciate your brave exposure to unmitigated dickishness.


Bonus upon the Conclusion of a Satisfactory Research Study results in actionable data towards the continues application of aforementioned measurements.

You will have my appreciation (worth at least a .2 AoC unit (c) bump to your inherent AoC rating), The satisfaction of a job well done... and... um... I'll give you Cpl. Mcmuffin i hear he is very tasty.

dont forget relativity here... i predict that AoC ratings propagate at the speed of light, meaning the lorentz transformation applies to AoC ratings.

simply put, this - Lorentz Transform applied to perceived AoC ratings and ZaB ratings

You had me at "Zhoul's a Bitch Unit"

Agent of Change wrote: You will have my appreciation (worth at least a .2 AoC unit (c) bump to your inherent AoC rating), The satisfaction of a job well done... and... um... I'll give you Cpl. Mcmuffin i hear he is very tasty.

I'm Cpl. McMuffin and this is my favorite thread on the Citadel.

this thread should be deleted.

Snubby just gains 0.1 ZaB points

longshot wrote:Snubby just gains 0.1 ZaB points

And -0.5 CER points for lack of sarcasm tags.