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Jayce
Jiel
Ferc Polo
Snubby
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Viking Jack
juice
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Nostromo
Nightwing
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Post by Nightwing Sat Mar 02, 2013 12:52 am

Fan Fiction is defined as somebody taking an established universe (Such as Halo, Naruto or Pokemon), and making your own story with it.
What I'm asking is this: Is there anybody out there that would be willing to read a Moon Breakers FanFic?
My proposal would go as follows: I'd like to use actual players and squadrons in the story. At the end of this post, there will be a small form to allow people to submit a character.
Since the story would essentially be set in one continuous universe, different squadrons would need to be permanently assigned to a faction.
The Faction/squadron pairings that I'm thinking of are as follows:
Government:
  • Forsaken
  • Blue Tips
  • M.U.F.F.I.N.


Pirate:
  • Suicide Kings
  • D.M.H.
  • Reapers


I will have the Praetorian's take the place of the faction-neutral AFTAC board...

If anybody has any objections, Be they faction or even whether or not the squadron even appears, I will be glad to take any and all opinions under consideration. Be warned though: Once the first chapter of the story is posted, squadron/faction pairs will be permanent.

As for individual pilots, I ask that they please use the following form:

  • Callsign: (In-game name)
  • Name: (Non-flight name, preferably real-world names. Made-up names will be acceptable, though)
  • Rank: (How many bars you have in-game. 4 maximum.)
  • Squadron: (Should be obvious. If none, just put N/A...)
  • Faction: (This one should be obvious...)
  • Favorite ship: (Most common ship you fly in-game)
  • Personality: (What your character is like; Hygiene, mannerisms, etc.)
  • Basic physical description: (Gender, height, weight, eye/hair color, etc.)
  • History: (Background info; Family, friends, pets, etc.)
  • Anything else: (Anything that you think would set your character apart)

Any suggestions for story titles would be greatly appreciated. Suggestions will be placed in a poll, which I will make after receiving a few suggestions.

Please note that I will do my best to respect the wishes of those on this forum with regards to the story.
I will also post the link to the first chapter when I have it written.

EDIT: I just got around to making my character, so here it is:


Callsign: Nightwing
Name: Xander Mikaru (Mike)
Rank: 4-bar
Squadron: Forsaken
Faction: Government
Favorite ship: FM-25 Nighthawk
Personality: Very quiet. Tends to keep to himself. It is his belief that a person should be judged upon their actions, rather than their words. In battle, his preference to use logic instead of emotion means that he usually becomes the de facto tactician.
Basic physical description: Xander is a 5’9”, 178lb, 19-year-old young man. His black hair is tied into a skinny, knee-length braid, with a shock of silvery white hair hanging to his officer’s insignia over one eye. His eyes tend to look black at first glance, but a closer look reveals a deep purple reflection. He has a scar that cuts across his face from above his left eyebrow, to under his right ear.
History: On his homeworld, Xander was the youngest transport captain ever recorded, at only 14 years old, commanding and piloting one of the gigantic hover-loggers that was used to cut and haul lumber from the upper canopies of the arboreal forests. When his planet was found by raiders intent on stealing the unique natural resources and enslaving the inhabitants, Xander put his flight and mechanical skills to good use, repairing and then using a downed Nighthawk to destroy the raiders from the air, while his fellow neighbors used tactics developed over decades of hunting and defending against some of the planet’s native predators, and waged guerilla warfare on the marauding bands of raiders. Eventually, the raiders were pushed back, but not before they attempted one last push, during which, Xander was attacked by a raider wielding a plasma blade, but his parents sacrificed themselves to save him, allowing him to escape with little more than a scar, which he keeps as a reminder of the hardships that he’s been through.
Anything else: The plasma blade that hit Xander also permanently altered the biochemistry of the hair follicles near his scar, causing a lack of pigmentation. This gives him a small area on his scalp where only white hair will grow.


Last edited by Nightwing on Sat Apr 27, 2013 1:19 am; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Added my character, Added Squadron option to form, Added Rank option.)
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Post by Nostromo Sat Mar 02, 2013 2:43 am

So is this thread to sort of pose as a signpost to advertise, or are you taking Proof-reader and pilot characterizations from here as well? Wouldn't submissions work better if they were sent as a PM instead of being openly post on a public forum, in case you don't use someone or reject a character concept?
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Post by the-anger Sat Mar 02, 2013 4:37 am

fanfic or not, i cannot fathom yet another space opera / soapy in any form.
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Post by MJ Sat Mar 02, 2013 10:26 am

I encourage you on your project and look forward to reading the first chapter. I would like to decline having my persona included in the story though, as I use him in my own poorly written short stories.
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Post by juice Sun Mar 03, 2013 1:52 pm

this sounds fun, you can put me in

=)
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Post by Nostromo Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:12 pm

the-anger wrote:fanfic or not, i cannot fathom yet another space opera / soapy in any form.

With a little tweaking you might be able to talk Wingy into writing a story line for your new game, Anger. geek
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Post by Nightwing Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:49 pm

@ Anger: I was going to try to do a sort of Honor Harrington-style story. What I mean is this: In the Honor Harrington books, it describes the space battles in great detail, but it also talks about what goes on outside of the ships. Two good Honor Harrington books to read are Flag in Exile, and War of Honor...

@Juice: I will be perfectly willing to put your character in. I just need you to use the character submission form from my first post.

@Nostromo: I was going to do my best to use all of the characters submitted. I will also be perfectly willing to consider any and all plot suggestions. If there's a specific element that I can't use, I will post what that element is, and why I can't use it, on this thread. That way, people could look through, and see why the idea wasn't used. If they can figure out a way for the idea to fit in, I will put it in.
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Post by Nostromo Mon Mar 04, 2013 12:58 am

I'll assume this means you want the Character submissions to be PM's then.
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Post by the-anger Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:22 am

i don't mind the idea i just don't see the need lol... that said i dont mind my character being used (The Anger). however it is too difficult (well, just lengthy really) to explain how i act, so it would be easier to just ask what i would do in a situation.
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Post by Nostromo Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:38 am

the-anger wrote:i don't mind the idea i just don't see the need lol... that said i dont mind my character being used (The Anger). however it is too difficult (well, just lengthy really) to explain how i act, so it would be easier to just ask what i would do in a situation.

*hugs!*
we all have those feelings...
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Post by Viking Jack Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:37 pm

sounds fine to me i would love to see the first chapter and btw i wish ferc polo could see this, that guy was all into RP and character development

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Post by Loki Mon Mar 04, 2013 2:50 pm

Viking Jack wrote:sounds fine to me i would love to see the first chapter and btw i wish ferc polo could see this, that guy was all into RP and character development

Send him a PM and get his attention lol
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Post by Snubby Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:28 pm

Loki wrote:
Viking Jack wrote:sounds fine to me i would love to see the first chapter and btw i wish ferc polo could see this, that guy was all into RP and character development

Send him a PM and get his attention lol

i'll let him know.

hmmm, Golden Wizard ...
.. he wasn't the best of us by any means, but he was the glue that held this whole sorry mess together ...
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Post by Nightwing Wed Mar 06, 2013 12:56 am

Nostromo Crew gave me one of the best character designs I've ever seen. I would like to share it, to give everybody an idea of what I'm looking for:

Nostromo_Crew wrote:
Callsign: Nos, Nostro, Nostromo Crew, Crew, N. C.

Name: Alex Wey Yutan

Faction: Tenuous Government ( Allows possible betrayal )

Favorite ship: Sidewinder F3-X Primary, Mamba F-3 Secondary, Timberwolf Bomber

Personality: Rash, annoying/snarky, and cynical; abusive to strangers as a means of covering for personal size issues; Brutally loyal to a fault; Needs overwhelming evidence to disprove most beliefs ( took a paid vacation by friends to prove that Europa, Jupiter's moon, wasn't a solid ice cube ); suspicious of government forces ( blatantly of whichever is largest faction )

Basic physical description: Male, 1.22 meters, 88.91 kg, brown eyes, dark brown hair with natural carrot red streaks NOT highlights most noticeable in sideburns, nervous twitch of left jaw muscles when near the any ( previously mentioned Gov't faction ) members, Clean cut with reg's hair length, side burns reach just below earlobe

History: Family lives on one of the major planets in core system and has a long standing military service record to be proud of, however nothing of note or major commendations. Standard public education and inducted into the government sponsored mining defense program (can change to fit however the Gov't involvement is publicly perceived in your storyline). Pretty easy first tour, no major skirmishes with any of the larger Pirate factions.

Alex returns home on leave to be informed that his older sisters' mining platform, the Saloo, has been subject to a massive Pirate raid, *(previous Gov't faction)* responsible for the local patrols was on strike for pension plans/benefits (whatever you feel would be acceptable). Alex blames her death on the negligence on Gov't and the *Faction* tasked with the defense. Openly hostile toward *Faction* members and greatly dissatisfied with Gov't treatment on the whole matter leading to a long standing festering distrust of Gov't methods. Second tour is much more rocky, multiple fines and demerits ( whatever they call strikes before actual disciplinary action is taken) give a bad mark on Alex's record, and leads to his deployment into the more far reaching systems and lower survivability odds/ greater chance of Pirate raids.

Three weeks before force rotation is required for the defense wing guarding the mining vessel, Gorgothia, a devastating Pirate raid occurs. Publicly Gov't media outlets claim total loss of life of the vessel and her defensive wing, no names are released to the public. But, of the twelve ships tasked to the defense eight survived forcible recalled before their elimination by Gov't seeking to preserve their beam ships over the lives of the mining crew. This reinforces Alex's long standing distrust of the Gov't to a thinly hidden hate of the Gov't leadership, and a desire to avenge the deaths, he believes are because of the Gov't greed. While the Gov't lost the conflict, which lasted all of fourteen minutes, Alex reported four confirmed kills and three more presumed downed. Alex will later receive a unmarked transmission on a USB ( whatever small memory drive you feel is acceptable) revealing that Alex's skills had impressed an unnamed faction leader inside the Pirate's and offers a possible position. Faith shaken in the Gov't Alex is left with a difficult choice, remain in the service of a greed soaked and 'bloodied' hands of the Gov't. Or, betray the last of his friends and family in a possibly misguided attempt to find his sister's killer, and deal some satisfying damage to Gov't holdings while attempting the most minimal loss of life for any involved.

Family: 1st mother (deceased), 2nd mother (distant and cold, blames whole military complex in daughters' death and Alex for not being able to protect her), Older Sister (deceased in Saloo raid), Younger Sister (Krait pilot for the Pirate faction DMH, disowned by family), Youngest Sister (working as an intern for one of the admirals in charge of the Gov't forces)

Friends:
Strays05 (Nighthawk player (waiting to see if he's gonna submit you a character, he did give me consent to use his call sign as Alex's friend; not sure how he wants to work it))

Tom Welles (fellow Sidewinder pilot killed in Gorgothia raid) - KIA

Rebecca Fawls (Romance interest for Alex and Grizzly pilot killed in Gorgothia raid defending Mamba retreat) - KIA

Jordan Marches (Surviving Bison pilot accuses Alex of not saving Rebecca, a mutual love interest, transferred with Alex to new(story relevant defense wing of your choosing)) - TRAN

Joshua Storm (Krait pilot honourably discharged from service after the Gorgothia raid, commendations granted for undisclosed service to the Gov't) - HD

Rufus Greggs (Surviving Krait/Mamba* pilot, long standing prankster and comedian transferred with Alex) - TRAN

*ship possibly replaced by Strays05 pending his character submission, assume Krait till then.

Stephen Cloo ( Mamba pilot aspiring to become a Sidewinder pilot, hung around Alex and Tom as idols, killed in Gorgothia raid) - KIA

Lucy Ferns (Surviving Mamba pilot romantically interested in Alex, not mutual (yet?), asked to be transferred with Alex to new wing (see Jordan Marches description)) - TRAN

Rick Will (Mamba pilot, long standing straight man for Rufus, killed in Gorgothia raid) - KIA

Louie Walk (Surviving Mamba pilot, transferred to story *irrelevant wing(might use later)*) - TRAN

Tommy Son (Surviving Mamba pilot, honourably discharged from service due to injuries) - HD

Allia Yong (Surviving Mamba pilot, honourably discharged from service due to injuries) - HD

Annie Omus (Surviving Mamba pilot, transferred/replaced by Rufus pending Strays05 issues) - TRAN

Jessie Fawls (Kingfisher pilot and acting leader of *irrelevant wing*, spends leave time with Alex as a coping measure, Older sister of the late Rebecca Fawls)

Pet: Bitchy Maine Coon tabby, male and self sufficient, named Marches as a joke

Anything else: (Anything that you think would set your character apart)

Alex's distrust of the Gov't and the Faction is a big pressure for him to leave the Gov't side, and with most of his family dead or deflected he is running out of loyalty for the Gov't. Betrayal would also give him a chance to hunt down the Pirate(s) responsible for the destruction of the Saloo, the mining vessel where his older sister 'died'.

Is very gung-hoe in the pilot's seat for the Sidewinder and more reserved in the Mamba, has problems with Timberwolf ( it doesn't like him very much and makes it known). Alex's behavior in the Sidewinder leads to him often flying flanking maneuvers and to pull stupid lone wolf tactics that tend to lead him screaming back to allies to cover for anything chasing him. Likes to seek out the best pilots he can on the enemies side.

Alex has crashed and disabled his Sidewinder, alone, thirty five times and twice totaled the ship on stunts through asteroid fields, which he feels is a important exercise to keep his flying skills sharp. Alex has been gunned down only eight times, only once in his Sidewinder, and forced to use standard emergency methods to survive in open space.

Scar, by shrapnel during the Gorgothia engagement, just behind the hairline on the left side near the temple and side burns.

Keeps a necklace of replica dogtags from those killed during the Gorgothia raid, four total (Rebecca's has gold plating)

I bow down to this guy.
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Post by Nostromo Wed Mar 06, 2013 4:18 am

Nightwing wrote:I bow down to this guy.

Time to be mature about this....


FanFiction Owvhb10

... or not.


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Post by Nightwing Wed Mar 06, 2013 2:30 pm

*Slowly backs away*
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Post by Ferc Polo Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:46 pm

I would definitely read Moonbreakers fanfiction. Feel free to use my ideas or not. Do you want me to submit a form for my character or can you get enough of Ferc Polo from my characterization? Do you need an arc? I suppose an arc would depend on your story and the plot arc. PM me for any specific questions, yo.


Snubby wrote:

i'll let him know.

hmmm, Golden Wizard ...
.. he wasn't the best of us by any means, but he was the glue that held this whole sorry mess together ...

As Golden Wizard's wingman I can confirm this.
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Post by Nostromo Fri Mar 08, 2013 10:29 pm

Ferc, you're still alive? I'm sure if you just fill out the highlights and the list he gave, like I tired to do, and with the already very colourful portrayals of your character it wouldn't take much work on your part.
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Post by Ferc Polo Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:20 am

I'm around.
Very Happy
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Post by Nightwing Sat Mar 09, 2013 2:14 am

Cool. Just send me a PM with your character. The more detail, the better.

I shall repeat what I said earlier: Nostromo's character was amazing.

As for arc ideas? I'm open to suggestions.
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Post by Nostromo Sun Mar 10, 2013 12:09 am

Considering that the game seems largely based around 'minor' skirmishes between carrier flights, you could set up an Arc around their constantly posturing. That is to say, until someone with either the balls, or lacking mental stability, steps up to a command level, also see internal coups. Other Arcs might stem from a valuable moon filled with an 'premium' source of Helium-3 (that is what we're fighting about, right?), or a 'Grand' weapon/tactic to end the fighting once and for all. And escalations, who is to say the game isn't just portraying the early start of a massive conflict and we're just participants in border disputes?

The real trick is to maintain the plausibility of the characters being there and what would make them stay with it? Plenty of people might just walk away if something became too big for them, they would need a personal stake to draw on. Not just, 'For the greater Good,' BS, even though there are some who could reason their motives like that, they are few and far between.

Also maintaining the Faction 'Personalities' is important, people of like minds are drawn together. So what makes the internal factions so different from one another that they became the Dominant Trio of their side, and not just repaint of the others with similar/same values.

Just keep in mind that YOUR greatest hurdle, Nightwing, in this is to develop NPC's that can/do drive the OC's towards you main goal, entertaining the masses. With that in mind, try and keep away from making an NPC just for the sake of driving the story, this is your railroad and you can drive it where you like, but, it doesn't have to look like one to accomplish the same ends. Use emotionally charged settings to cloud obvious decisions, use deceit and trickery to mislead, use foolishness and passion to drive a choice home. Most of all, have fun with what you make. It'll be no good if you can't enjoy what you write.

Story Suggestions:
  • The Great Conflict of Our Time Begins...
  • The Few Challenge the Many...
  • Will You Stand Beside me?
  • Who Are YOU Fighting For?
  • For Revenge or Redemption...
  • Are The Choices We Make Our Own?
  • ... And The Victor Shall Write The History...
  • ... Said The Spider to The Fly.
  • Thrust Unto Glory
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Post by Ferc Polo Mon Mar 11, 2013 6:58 pm

Two down-on-their-luck asteroid miners stumble upon the journal of a legendary war hero who vanished at the height of World War HE-3, and find the terrible secret he took to the grave could shake the very foundations of Interplanetary Governance.
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Post by Nightwing Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:30 pm

Ferc Polo wrote:Two down-on-their-luck asteroid miners stumble upon the journal of a legendary war hero who vanished at the height of World War HE-3, and find the terrible secret he took to the grave could shake the very foundations of Interplanetary Governance.

That is a good arc idea, but variations on it have been WAY overdone... Plus, I'd rather have it co-temporal with the MB universe. Of course, the fact that I'm thinking of introducing elements from Star Conflict might make that kinda difficult...
There was a post that suggested Moon Breakers being border skirmishes within a bigger conflict. I was going to run with that. The Star Conflict stuff could be battles against forces that get past the MB skirmishes. Think final line of defense.

Also: In Moon Breakers, when you get shot down, you can respawn. This obviously can't happen in real life, so I've decided to implement a mechanic that will take the place of respawn. Hint: Telepresence.
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Post by Viking Jack Tue Mar 12, 2013 11:25 am

Nightwing wrote:Also: In Moon Breakers, when you get shot down, you can respawn. This obviously can't happen in real life, so I've decided to implement a mechanic that will take the place of respawn. Hint: Telepresence.

i hope this helps you, i always liked the idea both in sci fi and maybe real life (if we don't nuke each other before space battles) of having cockpits that teleport to the carrier or the home base when the ship's hull takes heavy damage, from there the mechanics need to place the cockpit in another fighter chassis and get back to action.

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Post by Nightwing Tue Mar 12, 2013 3:24 pm

Did you not see me mention telepresence?

What I was thinking is this: The pilots aren't actually in the ships. They are actually in a room, hooked up to a VR-type machine where they remotely control the ships.
This would also make a fairly elegant solution for noobs: They just aren't used to controlling the ships. As they get more used to controlling the ships, the noobs get more skilled. The upgrade system could be different levels of 'synergy', where each upgrade represents the pilot getting used to the fighter.

Whaddaya think?
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